Better Living Through Zombies

A number of folks have asked me what’s up with all the zombie stuff? To them I have to say, it’s called “better living through zombies”. The better question would be where was all the zombie stuff earlier?

So zombies are surprisingly bad holiday gifts. The chance of infection and turning the gift reciever onto a zombie out weighs how cool a zombie really is. Zombies are a lot like wild animals, you can never fully train or domesticate them. Sure you can get them to do ample household chores, and you can throw stuff at them and they don’t seem to mind. But accidentally getting infected and wanting to eat nothing but brains isn worth it.

Trust me.

They will be the cutting edge/ next big thing. Just you wait.

Why?

They are good.

They keep your ears warm.

I like them and I won’t stand for those who would disparage them.

Pretty quiet on the zombie front.

When dealing with zombies it’s usually a good idea to have decoys ready to throw them off. Zombies are pretty dumb so they can be fooled by something as simple as a big yellow smiley face balloon, but I’d suggest something a little better for any zombie hunter newbies.

Zombies hate snow. While this isn’t real news to most, I wanted to take a second to talk to those that are new to the game.

Zombies don’t generally dress warm. When they turn they are usually in their pj’s or work close, but not a parka, scarf and mittens. It also makes it tougher to bite through all the winter layers.

I like snow.

If you hate snow, you might be a zombie. Get tested.

Battery operated snow globes, because the old fashioned non battery snow globes just didn’t cut it.

This is one of those old wives tails that is actually true. No one quite knows why but a strong set of pj’s is one of the better zombie repellants.

Better living through zombies hopes to show you a whole new world in which the undead among us can enrich our lives, not weigh us down with fear or a never ending hunger for brains.

First we must protect ourselves from the threat, then we can accept and embrace these undead neighbors.

The best way to avoid become a zombie is to get your shots. Most folks don’t realize that zombie vacination is the number one cause for the virtual elimination of the zombie threat.

But it’s still out there so get your shots! I got mine.

It’s been a while, that’s for sure and rather than bore you with the details of my last 70 odd days, I think we just pick up as if nothing had happened.

I will from time to time treat you to small details and stories of our time apart. For example- the pope, a monkey and the best BBQ this side of Memphis. Glory osky what a Tuesday that was.

Also I think we may try to get back to the real purpose of this blog. MORE ZOMBIES!!!

Yet another day at the high chair.
I know pretty boring, but hey I’m just a baby. Jeez I can’t handle your pressure.